Thursday, September 8, 2011

Seinfeld Redux

Thanks to the folks at American University Labor Law Forum for linking to my Seinfeld post.  They've got a good website over there and consistently put together a valuable publication.

With that encouragement, I'll note that since posting, a friend reminded me of The Race, Episode 96, where Kramer and Mickey take jobs as Santa and an elf at Coleman's Department Store.


Kramer complains to Mickey about the work:


KRAMER: Hey, Mickey when do we get a break? My lap is killing me.
MICKEY: There is no break.
KRAMER: This place is a sweat shop.
Elaine's communist boyfriend, Ned talks shop with Kramer while visiting the mall:

KRAMER: Eight hours of jingle belling and ho ho hoing. Boy, I am ho'd out.
NED: Anyone who works here is a sap.
[Mickey attacks Ned]
MICKEY: Watch it!
KRAMER: Whoa, whoa, come on.
NED: You understand the Santa's at Bloomfields are making double what you are?
KRAMER: Double?
NED: I bet the beard itches doesn't it?
KRAMER: You got that straight.
NED: So when you get a rash all over your face in January do you think Coleman's will be there with a medical plan?
MICKEY: Look, you take that commie crap out into the street.
NED: Kramer, I've got some literature in my car that will change your whole way of thinking.
KRAMER: Talk to me baby.
MICKEY: Don't listen to him Kramer, you've got a good job here.
Eventually, Kramer adopts Ned's communist views and tries to enlighten a young child.

KID: I want a racing car set.
KRAMER: Ho ho ho ho A racing car set! Those are assembled in Taiwan by kids like you. And these Coleman pigs, they sell it at triple the cost.
KID: But I want a racing car set.
KRAMER: You see kid, you're being bamboozled. These capitalist fat cats are inflating the profit margin and reducing your total number of toys.
KID: Hey, this guy's a COMMIE!
MICKEY: Hey, kid, quiet. Where did a nice little boy like you learn such a bad word like that? Huh?
KID: Commie, Commie, Commie . . . (unknown) .
MICKEY: Santa is not a Commie. He just forgot how his good friend stuck his neck out for him to get him a good job like this. Didn't he Santa!
STORE MANAGER: Is there a problem here?
KRAMER: ho ho ho ho.
KID: This guy's a Commie. He's spreading propaganda.
STORE MANAGER: Oh yeah? Well that's enough pinko! You're through. The both of ya'
MICKEY: I got two kids in college.
KRAMER: You can't fire me, I'm Santa Claus.
STORE MANAGER: Not anymore. Get your skinny ass out of here.
The episode brings to mind several questions.

1. Can the store manager legally fire Kramer for being a communist? Although there are no federal laws protecting employees on the basis of political orientation, New York (where the show takes place) joins the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico in offering some employment protections on the basis of political activities.  In addition, some cities have similar protections.  However, whatever protections are out there, Kramer's communist activities seem antithetical to the goals of the department store which include selling stuff like racing car sets and keeping kids happy in Santa's lap.  On the other hand, the statement made by the store manager, "enough pinko" might be construed as demonstrating a certain level of animus...

2. Can the store manager legally fire Mickey for Kramer's communist activity? Mickey's firing is certainly less fair than Kramer's, but he might in some ways be less protected because he is not being discriminated against for his own political activity.


3. How about the parting comment, "Get your skinny ass out of here?"  Typically, Santas are a little on the heavy side, and so Kramer might claim that in addition to being discharged based on his political affiliation, he was discriminated on the basis of being skinny.  In the state of Michigan and some cities, but not in New York, it's unlawful to discriminate on the basis of weight (fat or skinny).

4. Can they make Kramer and Mickey work without breaks? Check with the New York Department of Labor.


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